You still suck.  I still suck.
Now lets go play.

For the Players, By the Players, About the Players...

Monday November 16th, 2015  12:58 pm
Relics League Results::
Results 11/8/2015

Madison 4  vs.  Lincoln 2

Fargo 4  vs.  Tri-City 1

Despite very low attendances in both games, scoring was not an issue for the two league leaders: Madison and Fargo.
The early game saw the Capitals skate to a decisive win over the Stars 4-2.  This was really not a close game as Madison kept the pressure on and Lincoln just didn’t have the answer.  As a result, Madison still keeps a close eye on the league lead.
The night game was even less of a contest as Fargo kept its winning ways spanking Tri-City 4-1.  Fargo keeps its league leading hold one point ahead of Madison.
The cellar dwellars have a similar fate as there is only one point separating Tri-City from Lincoln.

Results:   Legends League
Crusaders 6  vs.  Sharks 4

Saints 4  vs.  Stingers 2

Toro 6  vs.  Whalers 3


Monday November 2nd, 2015  3:02 pm
Relics League Results::

    Tri-City Storm  6   vs.   Madison Capitals  3      

       Fargo Force  3   vs.  Lincoln Stars 1

Madison and Tri-City skated to a 3-3 tie in what played out to be a great game.   Back and forth with the score, it seemed as though both teams just could not sustain the lead.  Both teams settle for the tie. 
Notable injury late in the game saw Joe Carroll sustain an injury that would keep him from finishing the game.  We all hope he is ok and can make the next weeks match up against the Stars.

The night game saw the undefeated Force wear out the Stars to a 3-1 victory.  Once again the Stars skated out to an early start, but with the short bench and the overwhelming pressure from the Force, the Stars just couldn’t keep up and gave up a couple of late scores.

Weekly Notable Players:
Dwayne Fortes with 2 goals and an assists,
Kevin Mackin with a goal and an assist
Dennis Yates with 2 goals
Frank Brinkmann with 2 assists
Drew Cammorata with 2 assists
Tom House with 2 assists


I know we at the Rockland Press will be receiving phone calls and e-mails (not the nice kind) for reporting this story but has anyone else noticed that the Bumble Bees in the Legends Division have points in three straight games after starting the season with an 0-fer.
Is it just us at the Press or does anyone else see the coincidence that these points and improved team play have all occurred once the Beeber left the lineup for injuries.  Although fairness in reporting we should also point out that this current surge by the Stingers could be the result of Hacksaw being injured as well. something to think about though...
With all due respect to Colonel Bertone of the Sharks who made the statement that his hockey days are over when he stops being a Shark.  Helllloooo Colonel have you heard about the Relics have you seen the fun these guys are having out there on Sunday afternoons.   Do you see your former teammates Dan Colletti and formerly #4 now #55 enjoying themselves.  Really Colonel!  Did Christopher Colombus listen when they told him don't go in search of the new land the world is flat and you will fall off.  Well Colonel maybe you should expand your horizons and take a look at the Relics.  We are not saying we are going have a holiday named after you like Chris has but we can promise you a fun time with guys you already know a chance to be involved in the game and we will let you pick out your own jersey #


Monday October 26th, 2015  11:13 am
Relics League Results::

    Tri-City Storm  6   vs.   Fargo Force  3      

   Lincoln Stars 3  vs.   Madison Capitals  2

To start, short benches were present in both games tonight.  A lot of ice time for weary legs.

The first game saw the Force ran all over Tri-City  6-3.   The score doesn’t reflect the closeness of the play, but Fargo got themselves a nice lead and never looked back.

Night cap saw the Stars squeak by the Capitals
3-2 in a very close game.  Play was strong by both benches but the Stars held on.   No sight of the Twins tonight.

Fargo remains undefeated in the standings while Madison and Tri-City fight for the 2nd and 3rd spot;  Lincoln brings up the rear.

Weekly Notable Players:
John Maguire of Fargo with a Hat Trick
Steve O’Mara of Tri-City with 3 points
and 2 points for:
Skip Tufts of Fargo
Steve Carroll of Tri-City
Jim Kundicz of Lincoln
Dennis Yates of Madison

Great games, once again!

As we like to say in the Relics:

Moving on to South Coastal:
Quite a few upsets tonight.   We have an unbeaten team get beaten, and a winless team win their first game.

To start the evening, the Sharks skated all over the Saints, wholloping them 4-1.   Not even close, but I gotta say it was pretty physical.    “Ambulance Chaser’ continues to skate his heart out and takes it a bit far when entering the corners... to the dismay of the Saints.   He and Jake LaMotta got a bit pushy a few times.

Hey, did anyone see the Pink Sticked lady?  Nah, I can’t give him shit here.... after all, it is Save the Ta-Ta’s month.   Kudo’s to you John.

The middle game saw the league leading Toro’s lose their first game 6-4 to the Crusaders.   Crusaders came out flying and just never looked back.   Could this be the start of reversing the curse?  Nah....

The nightcap saw the winless Stingers nudge by the Whalers 6-5 in a very, very physical game.  Could this also be another curse of Beeber reversal?   We’ll see.
Perhaps the Bumble Bee’s are truly missing the BEEBS, and now they have Hacksaw on injured reserve as well.   Hmmm, 2 thugs out? 
Wait, has anyone ever seen them together, in the same room?  Perhaps they are one in the same?   ooooooohhhhhhh.

A scare thought (Haloween reference here)

Monday October 12th, 2015  3:49 pm
Player Updates:
Sad to see the Bieber have to leave the game of the week Sunday night. We at the press hope the injury is not serious or long term. However, we at the press still have a job to do so we were wondering if the Bieber is feeling the pressure of his high priced free agent contract he inked with the Stingers this summer and only 1 meager assist to show for it. Did he have a makeup issue and had to leave the game before the cameras caught him with a close up shot. Is it just too painful for him to look at the standings and see his former teams ahead of the Stingers so far this season.
Is the Bieber close to throwing in the skates? If he does will the King retire the Bieber's number on all of his teams.
Has the Bieber witnessed the fun and excitement the Relics are enjoying and is having his agents work out a settlement agreement with the Stingers so he can join the Relics. Are his people in secret talks with the Lincoln Stars promising them victories and accolades if they sign him. We will stay on this story until the questions are answered. So far we have been able to confirm that the Bieber did not call Captain Burke of the Crusaders begging for his spot back. Hey if we don't ask the tough questions who will....
In all seriousness we hope that the injuries to both Jim and Justin Stratton of the Saints are not serious and they both will be back with their teams very soon.

Monday October 12th, 2015  121:42 am
Stars choke again, Fargo ties, then loses in OT
Relics recap’

Once again the winless Stars jumped out to a quick start, 2-0 over the Capitals.  And, once again, they gave up the lead and lost in a high scoring battle 7-6.   Lets give credit to the Capitals as they had a very short bench and they just played a great game plan to pull out the win. 

Madison still remains as the unbeaten team atop the standings at 5-0.

Late game saw the undefeated Force tie, but lose in overtime to the Storm 5-4.  Another high scoring game and another game with very short benches on both sides. 
Hats off to the Storm in handing the Force their first loss of the season.

Moving on to the Legends....
Can you say BLOWOUTS!!!!
Toros remained undefeated as they killed the Whalers 6-0,.   Nothing overly exciting but lets just say that the Toros are here to stay.   This might be the year.  (Don’t blow it Red Bull).
Sharks continued the slaughter by spanking the Crusaders 5-1.   Again, just another shoot out practice for the Sharks.
Lastly the, ahem, weak and weaker Stingers got railed by the Saints 8-2.  Jeepers, a lot of scoring for one night.


Monday October 5th, 2015  12:07 pm
Some ugly wins... but a win is a win.
Relics:  the The night started with the Lincoln Stars off to a huge start which seemed that they were on their way to winning their first win of the season... by leading 3-0 and 4-1 against the powerhouse Fargo Force.   By the Force was not with them as Fargo kicked it into 2nd, and then 3rd gear to tie it up an eventually winning in overtime 6-5.  Ouch.
Lincoln did get a point, so I guess thats a good thing.

The second game saw just as exciting match between unbeaton Madison capitals and the Tri-City Storm.    Game ended in a tie 2-2, but Madison won the shootout and still remains unbeaton at 3-0.

Leading scorers on the day:
Tom House of Fargo
Kevin Mackin of Fargo
Paul Flagg of Fargo
Jim Kundicz of Lincoln
Mike White of Lincoln
Teddy Bohld of Lincoln

Fargo and Madison still remain top dogs and undefeated at 3-0 each.

The Legends, well, that’s another story...
3 games last night:   Saints squeeked by the Whalers 3-2.   Good buy Miicky V. scored as did Papa Roach for the winning Saints...  hmmm, Roachiy seems to be able to put it in the net for his homeys, but not for his girlfriends in the Relics????   What gives?

Second game saw the unbeaten Toros just got by the Sharks 1-0.  Kind of a boring game except that it did get a bit physiucal... Fire Marshall Bill picked up a penalty as did Red Bull.  Boys will be boys.

The final game saw a lot more action as the men in purple, Crusaders, killed the Stingers 5-0.   Where was Beeber?  Is the Beebs soon to retire?   Is there another team he “wants” to transfer to?  What gives here as well?
Gotta as Flower boy what is going on... perhaps he has the beebs on double secret probation and is waiting for the playoffs to unleash him?   Might be too late to put the big boy pants back on....

Monday September 28th, 2015  11:07 am  
Relics Update... True Colors starting to show  (and we are not talking Fall Foliage)
Yup, the new and improved Whalers, I mean, Fargo Force came to play while the Lincoln Stars did not.   Force dominated this one 6-3.   And It wasn’t even that close.  Conny & company shifted it into high gear and they skated circles around the older, yet better looking, Stars.  And it looks as though Nason in net is getting his groove back as well.
Oh well, there is always next week.   Oh wait, these two match up again... oh oh.

Good to see the line of Chaz and Fribble-boy back in the groove.

The other match also fits into the True Color scheme as the Madison Capitals beat up on the Tri-City Storm 2-0.  This one was a bit closer, but as the score shows... it really wasn’t close at all.

Wednesday September 23rd, 2015  2:35 pm  
Blast From the Past:
Heres a photo we republish to reminise about the successes of STP:
               Chaz as a kid, circa 1924               ... and Chaz 2015

Monday September 21st, 2015  11:38 am  
Week 2 in both leagues really didn’t provide any surprises... wait till next week!
The Relics saw Madison and Fargo skate to a 2-2 tie.   Very clean game, very slow play.   Well, it it the Relics after all.
Conny continues to light up the league with another point.... no surprise here.

Tri-City handed Lincoln their 2nd strait loss, defeating them 3-2 in a very close game.  We did see some acrobatics here as Captain O took a couple of circus dives to draw penalties... go figure...
No Twin #2 as he held out to host a Pats game... where was our invites?  We shall see where he plays next weekend... perhaps on defense as a penalty. 
Twin #1 played pretty good in his absence.

in the Legends, Beeber got shut out again... no surprise here as he continues his role to be a bust.
The Whalers win a close battle over the winless Stingers 3-2.  

The Saints shut down the Sharks 4-1 in a shocking surprise game.  Good to see Relics wannabe Papa Roach roof one in the win.   Why couldn’t he do this in the hour before?  Who knows.

Lastly, the Toros spanked the Crusaders 5-3 in what continues to be a struggle for the purple men as they have yet to post a win in the early season.

Whalers and Toros continue to be undefeated while the Stingers and Crusader are 0-2.   No surprises here.

More later as I need my nap.

Thursday September 17th 2015  6:46 pm  
Some anonymous observations from opening night...
Relics Division Scouts in attendance couldn't help but notice that Big Frank and Counselor Graham on the Saints should have the Relics personnel guy on speed dial, same for Al on the Crusaders. C'mon Al admit it you were a Relic before the league was formed. O.K. you can take Buckley with you.
From the inaugural game in the Classic Division it was observed that Staff will have to by pass the Legends and report directly to the Relics.
FMB reported in that "Brady didn't deflate any footballs and FMB didn't hook anyone" not his fault some people can not count!!
D.A. Cruz holding a press conference in Marshfield explaining they are looking at neighbors security footage and possible eyewitness accounts. the general public believes he is talking about a recent crime that occurred in Marshfield but we in the know realize he was discussing his  missing hockey sticks that some perpetrator took home on Sunday night leaving the D.A with no sticks for his game.

Monday September14th 2015  12 pm  
We are PROUD to be back behind the keyboard after a long, long time.

We have a lot to catch up on..  (Artie - the images on the right are for you!)

First off, great to see the Relics Hockey League up and running.  Seems like EJ and Papa Roche have taken this ball and ran with it... well, it was kinda handed off nicely by the King and Fire Marshall Bill.

The first week of the Relics season saw the Lincoln Stars losing badly to the Madison Capitals... 5-3.   It really wasn’t that close.   The defense sucked and the goalie wasn’t much better.   Although I threw that in there to make the defense sound like they weren’t that bad... they were.

The Capitals were hopping!  They got out to a quick 2 goal lead and dispite the Stars tying it up a couple of times, the Caps just kept the pressure and ran away with the win.  Kuddos to Captain Murph for putting on a good game plan... pick on the fat white defensemen.

In the 2nd game, the stacked Fargo Force barely won 3-2 over the Cops, I mean Tri-City Storm.  Vegas has the Force in a run-a-way for this season and it showed last night.  They looked good, but the badged men of Tri-City kept things very close. 

Good to see Danny Boy back on the ice after a 2 year absence.

Words of note in both games...

  • Good to see BOTH Twins still MISSING THE NET!  Although Artie (twin #2) continues to be the all time leader.
  • Oh, and new guy Dan (nickname to come later) is not far behind Artie.  He sux.
  • Good to see Chaz Bono score the first goal in the 2nd game ON A PENALTY SHOOTOUT!  Go figure.    Chaz is one of those guys who doesn’t look like he is trying... but he seems to always get in the box score and be a serious contributor.
  • Big John is off his softball kick and made his 2015 debut... looking very good.
  • Captain O was in attendance... he still sux too.

In the other (Classics) League...
There were bets on who would end up with the Beebs this season... and JC won $3.  Rumor had him staying with the  Crusaders, but possibly the Saints, only to end up with the Stingers.   Jeez, this creep has had more uniform changes than JC!
Seems like last minute trade deadline came and went without any other teams participating... too bad Flower Child got stuck.
Next bet?   What is the Over/Under in number of games he will last on his current team.  He’s gotta look great in Mellow Yellow.  (Hey, what an oxymoron... Beebs as Mellow.... better yet, beebs as a moron). 

Did we also notice that Beeber got shut out as well?   Yup, in his debut, the Stinger were shut out 2-0 by the Sharks/Mantas/Kings team.

I also could not help but notice that Hacksaw Pete picked up 2 penalties....  geez.
Can’t go without mentioning that FMB picked up a hooking call.... he claims it was too many men on the ice.

Ok Bill, thats fine.

The other games in the night, the Whalers spanked the Beeber-less Crusaders 6-2.   Blah, blah, blah... Whalers are going to beat up everyone this season.   Crusaders?, well, they aren’t gonna win anything but at least they got rid of  the cancer on the team.... now its someone elses issue!

The final game saw the Saints lose to the Toros 3-1.  Is this the end of the (S)Aints?  Will Papa Roche give in to father time and realize that the Relics is calling?  Not sure.   Flounder might be right behind him... Franky are you listening?




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