You still suck.  I still suck.
Now lets go play.

For the Players, By the Players, About the Players...

Monday November 10th, 2014 6:33 pm
Quiet day on the scoreboard.... we’ll find something to talk about!
Let’s start with the Crusaders who, dispite their troublesome season, beat the Whalers in the west coast game 3-2.  Good for the men in purple.  And good to see Beeber on the scoreboard a couple of times... we knew he had it in him.
The Whalers must feel pretty sad and lonely.  Could they be missing #2?  Possible, but likely not.
All in all, good to see the purple guys win one.   Now lets see if they can keep it going.

Next we have the Toros and Stingers.  Holy shit, did you see how many penalties the Toros got?  Geez.  Red Bull picked up a couple and must have thought he was still at his bar picking on one of the drunks.  We see he got one for Slashing and one for Roughing.  Good to have you back Gerry.  The other “winner” is Martin who scored a triple double... three penalties and got a game misconduct.  Kool.
Oh, back to the game... the Stingers and Toros tied.  Result was 3-3.  If it wasn’t for the Toro’s penalties the game would have been a typical Legends boring game.  blah, blah, blah.

Lastly we see the Saint beat the Sharks 1-0.  This was the Veteran’s day game where the Colonel dropped the first puck as the Sharks wore thier Hamburger Hill outfits.  Nice touch.

Monday November 3rd, 2014 6:56 pm
Some Happy, Some Sad...
Happy:  Jake and the Saints as he scored a hat trick and the Saints continue to spank the league by beating the Crusaders 4-1.   Good to see Papa Roach in the box score as well... for roughing!   Kool.
Seems that the only way the Crusaders will out perform their competition is with the number of penalties, which they “won” 4-2.
Sad:  The Crusaders continue to sink.  No life preservers left.  Toss in the towel, throw away the keys, your time is up.  Clock out.  Too bad.   Good guys on the team (most).

Next game saw the Whalers beat the Stingers in OT 4-3. 
The Happy:  nice clean game.
The Sad:  nice clean boring game.  ho hummm.

Next game saw the Sharks best the Toros 2-1. 
Happy:  Sharks continue to win
Sad:  The Toros are still going through a rough season.  Ugh.

The Standings:
Saints and Whalers are smacking the competition.  Should be a good championship game, whenever that comes.
Middle of the pack are the Sharks and Stingers who seem to be comfortable.  The Toros are just behind them a bit and should start to be a pain to the competition in an attempt to pick up a playoff spot.
Then there is the Crusaders.  Not going to beat them down anymore than they already have to themselves.  This team deserves better.  Perhaps Beeber will beg to go back to the Saints... as a fair weather player that he is.  (Sorry, no returns after 30 days).

Side note:  Chill out MapleLeafs... give a bro a beer. 

Lets move onto the Relics...
The personality of the league is at an all time high.  Players are having fun, Refs are having fun, Timekeeper is having fun (?).  The league is receiving phone calls every week for openings.  We hope to continue the growth, the parity, the lack of scoring, the good goal tending and the lack of beer.

That is all.  Good night Audrey.

Monday October 27th, 2014 7:41 pm
Oh, the agony...
After Well here we are, not ˝ the season gone and we have a couple of notable things happening with the Legends.
First off, the hapless Saints seem to have found their mojo… first whallopping the Stingers 7-0 last week and now shellacking the Whalers 8-1 this week.  WTF?
Could it be because Flounder has not been heard from ?
Could it be because Lil’ Irish has yet to go to his hobbit hole in Florida for the winter?
How about the team giving Papa Roach his wedding present in the manner of first place in the division?
Or is it because the Relics League started and some of the old players have been asked to move on?
Either way, the NOW hapful Saints are kicking ass!  Yup, whooda thought?
Maybe this is the swan song Captain Roachy has asked for before he moves onto the Blue-sky, perfect-world, harmonious Relics…
Lets hope so.  The Relics could use him.  (and only him).
Oh, congrats to Paul Murph on his hat trick.  Any truth to the rumor that Lil’ Irish tried to take a goal away by talking to the refs on the way to the scorers table?
So the Whalers have moved quickly downstream into the 2nd place position where they will be for about a week or so before they resume their leading spot in the Legends.
Lets talk about the Toros – Crusaders game.
First off, we note that Beeber picked up a point.  Woop-de-doo.
The Toros beat the Whalers 5-4 in what we want to believe was a close game.  Sure, go ahead and believe it, because it wasn’t.
Not sure how to put this but the men in purple need something to stimulate them… perhaps a shot of Red Bull before the game?  Or perhaps at least a candy bar to get that sugar high… anything will help at this point.
Don’t want to always pin the blame on Mr. Beeber, but someone has to take the shot.  Ok, perhaps Beebs is hurting and can’t wait for the season to end to get his medical issue taken care of… (no Todd, it has nothing to do with a Vaginal mesh). 
Just get this thing fixed Beeb, we need you on the ice (and in the blogs).
The Toros, lead by Paul Brink, continue to chip away at the league lead but seem to have 3rd place locked up.  Can’t say that for the Whalers as they are already out of the playoffs.
Playoffs?  Playoffs?  Who said anything about the Playoffs?
Lastly, the Sharks lost a close one to the Stingers in OT, 3-2.  The Fisherman a/k/a Foster Brooks scored the winner.  Ho Hummm.
Oh, hacker Ahab got another penalty… good to see Harry’s protégé picking up where he left off.
Hey, anyone heard from Harry?  How about Fuzzy?    Chirp-chirp-chirp.  Bueller, Bueller?
Good to see the Relics off to a great start… still.

Monday October 20th, 2014 7:41 pm
Oh, the agony...
After watching the Professionals skate at the godly hour of 5:30 to a zero/zero tie, we barely had the time and inclination (or stomach) to watch the Legends play.... we sucked it up and stuck it out.

But, we don’t know where to begin... should we talk about the SHALLACKING the Saints gave to the Stingers by a score of 7-0!   Or should we discuss the shocking Toros’ shootout victory over the powerful Whalers, or should we talk of the fact the Crusaders continue to slide and/or why the Beeber has been held scoreless for the 2nd or 3rd or however many weeks in a row.

Lets start with the first game of the night... the Sharks scoring in the shootout for a victory of the floormat Crusaders.  Wait, was that Fire Marshall Bill scoring the game winner?, or was it somebody wearing his shirt?  Who knows, but besides the overtime goal, nobody actually realized that FMB was skating last night. 

But where was Mr. Beeber?  We think we saw him and his hair flailing around the ice, or was that Repunzel?  Nah, she wouldn’t be that foolish.  Nonetheless, the Beebs has not been heard from in a shit long time.... and yet the men in purple still seem to struggle.  Ok, enuff about him... lets see who else has SUCKED on the team.... there’s Big Jim who hasn’t done anything since the Space Shuttle was cancelled.  He shoulda stayed retired.  Not doing anybody any good being out there.
Wait, what about Ron Jeremy?  Sure, he’s got a couple of points but does anyone else think that the old porno star is ready for the Relics?  Not sure, but we’ll have to wait and see.
Oh, and then there’s Burkey... poor bastard.  He has to put up with all these “characters”.  Sure wish he had a good cast behind him... he certainly deserves it.  Hey, maybe look for a trade to the Sharks? 
Wait again... didn’t they just get some new players?  Let’s see: there’s Carrigggggg, Hernan, Read, Cleaves, Harrington. 
If it wasn’t for another fat-white-guy this group should be on a milk carton, right next to Beeber.  (all comes back to you, doesn’t it).  =
Anyway, the Crusaders are trying.   But won’t win anything too soon with this cast.

The Sharks look good... well, except the goalie.  Maybe Sponge Bob Square Pants was right... take a shot at your own goalie to make sure he/she is awake. 
The DA had a nice roofer and we already gave FMB his press.  We’re done.

Next game saw the Toro’s skate to a shootout victory over the mighty Whalers.  This was a key victory for the Bulls as they haven’t had a good game and victory since Beeber, oh well, you know where I was going with this...

Lastly the sleeping Saints finally woke up, by beating the comatose Stingers 7-0!  Yup SEVEN TO NOTHIN!


So, what the hell has happened to this site????

Well, the editors have been locked up and they took away their keyboards and have restricted their phone calls to once a day...

Quick recap of last nights games....

The Relics were exciting as usual.  The highlight of the night was when one of the Twins snapped off a great shot from the corner only to hit Captain O in the nuts!  Play kept going, but certainly Captain O was down and out.

The guys in blue spanked whitey.

The Relics are the place to be... no physical play, no hacks (are you reading this Fuzzy?), no BS (how bout you Beebe?)
discussing the progress after 6 weeks, the news in the locker rooms give all indications that this is the best thing since, well, the Relics started. 

Plans are to expand the league in a year.

Now onto the Legends, I mean Hack League.  Boy, the games we witnessed last night had a tremendous amount of physical play it no wonder the phones in the Relics Office are ringing off the hook!  Yup, its true!

The Crusaders lost again;  Beeber didn’t get a point again;  the Saints won;  The Whalers and Sharks got into an extremely physical match which the Whales won.  Boy, the Relics are lookin better all the time.

More later...

Relics are up and running.... Strong!
2nd week saw ex-Whaler Lanky score a hat trick!  Yup, who’s ya daddy now!
And, for the second game in a row, Jacobson has had a penalty shot AND HAS YET TO SCORE!.  Yikes, is there a slower league?
Nonetheless, the Relics are the place to be.

Our 2 lady refs are doing Great, the lady scorekeeper is Great.  Who said Hockey couldn’t be that much fun again?!!!

Special thanks for their help goes out to the King and Fire Marshall Bill... they really helped get this thing going.

Now for some real hockey... well just a bit.
Legends season has taken off as well.  We see the pre-season favorite Whalers kicking some real ass in their first 3 games.   The Champion Stingers are not far behind in the standings, but light years away comparing apples and apples.   Should be a good game whenever they meet.

The Sharks and Crusaders are filling out the middle of the pack while the Toros and Stingers are pulling up the rear.

Still too early to tell what the hell is going to happen.

This past week we saw the Whalers spank the Toros 5-1.  Wasn’t even close.  We saw Chucky score 2 unassisted goals.  Seems the Whales are prepping early for their run for the Championship.

The Crusaders and Sharks skated to a 1-1 tie, but that wasn’t where the excitement was... seems the game was a bit chippy as there were a shitload of physical penalties... even Burkey got a slashing penalty!  Geez....

Lastly, the Saints and the Stingers played the West Coast game and the Stingers pulled this one out 3-1.  Nothing worth noting but that Hacksaw picked up another one of his All Time League Leading penalties.



Lets pause for a moment and focus on what is really going on...    RelicsHockey.com

The RELICS are alive and well in the world of hockey.  Yup, on September 7th at 5:30 pm the newly formed Relics Hockey League will begin.  And to make things even better, the owners have secured Boston Bruins’ own RENE RANCOURT to sing the US National Anthem!  But wait, that’s not all!!!!!.... they have also secured one of the original Big Bad Bruins of the 70’s DEREK SANDERSON to be on hand to drop the first puck!

Yup, this league will now be the place to be!

Stop by at the rink on September 7th at 5:00 or so to meet and greet RENE and DEREK.  Don’t forget to bring your cameras and you can also stick around to see a great hockey game afterwards!



Thursday August 14th, 2014 10:45 am
Let the Games Begin!
The Winter season has begun... and already there are shocking results!
The pre-season favorites Sharks/Mantas/Kings-Old-Team got shallacked by the new and improved Saints, 5-2.  It wasn’t even that close.

Before I begin, I want to point out a very interesting and noteworthy fact... Mr. “I got traded 14 times before the season” Krall was the only shining star as he got traded back to the Sharks and was instrumental in both points the Sharks put up on the board with a goal and assist.  Hmmm, I guess he won’t be going anywhere soon, eh?

Now back to the game.  The Saints, missing their Captain Roachy who was away on some honeymoon or something, got off fast in this one and just never looked back.  Now, some can say that they pounced on the Sharks and some can say that the Sharks goalie sucked, but we will leave it up to your own interpretation... Dr. Who didn’t turn up for this game in net is our take.

Oh, a funny thing happened after the final Saints goal... let me play this out for you (and Flower Boy... let me know if I have this rght)... I guess the final goal was Dr. Who’s fault.... (who knows really... isn’t this league about having fun and not really about the fact that some of us suck?  Anyway, on the ensuing faceoff The Commish won the faceoff (friggin’ doesn’t he always) go the puck back to Mini-Me, aka Sponge Bob Square Pants, who in turn turned around and shot at his own goalie!!!!!  Yup!  We all thought this was not only weird but well, weird.  WTF?
It seems that Sponge Bob Square Pants was pissed off that Dr. Who let in another goal... but really did he?, or was it the shoddy defense of SBSP?  (sorry, just tired of typing Sponge Bob Square Pants).  Nonetheless, the players and fans AND refs were all in shock.  Seems SBSP is taking the Legends league a bit too serious right now... wonder if he is ready for the Relics?   Do we have another “Beeber” on our hands?  We’ll see as the season plays out!

Anyway, the Saints looked good and the Sharks didn’t.

Can’t wait for the other games to start!


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